Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd, take me out to the Google calendar, the Sign Up Genius, the GameChanger app, etc. etc.
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Baseball season. Also known as the time where a mom’s mental load increases twofold. This year, my 9 year old is in baseball and my 3 year old is in t-ball, so the load is more overwhelming.
After the first practice, the t-ball coach sends out a mass text to all of the parents, which is quickly followed up by this:
“I’m adding my son’s mom (Barbara) to the group. I can’t be trusted with snack and scheduling duties. Thanks for a fun first practice!”
Did he really just do that? Did he really just admit to a group of strangers via text that he’s too much of a giant man-baby to figure out how to operate a Google calendar or purchase snacks from a store?
I don’t know this man (yet … but you can believe I’ll be looking for him at the ball field). But I am assuming he has some type of job or other responsibilities where he has to show up on time. So he’s likely not mentally incapable of reading a schedule or using Google maps to get somewhere. Also, I am assuming he has stepped foot in a store to purchase food for himself, and likely others, including for his kids (or maybe his poor wife does all of that also?).
So what he’s really saying is “I can’t be bothered. This is extra work, and this extra work is beneath me and thus work my wife should do.”
Another assumption is that this continues at his house for other items that have to get done but are beneath him: “I can’t be trusted to cook dinner every night.” “I can’t be trusted to shuttle kids around to activities.” “I can’t be trusted to make doctor and dentist appointments.”
And, as women, we just take this at face value, because these are things that need doing. And if the father is unwilling, then it’s ours to bear. And it increases our mental load, and an increased mental load leads to stress and burn out.
What Is the “Mental Load”?
The mental load (or cognitive household labor) refers to the ongoing, often invisible thinking work involved in running a family and anticipating needs. It’s not just the physical tasks, but the thinking behind them: registering for activities, managing schedules, arranging transportation, tracking equipment, coordinating schedules with other parents, etc.
This mental load tends to increase markedly during sport seasons, often without acknowledgment of how much effort it takes.
Research Shows Mothers Do More
Multiple studies reveal that mothers, on average, carry significantly more of the mental load in families than fathers. A large study of U.S. parents (3,000 participants) found that mothers reported managing about 71% of household tasks requiring mental effort, while fathers reported about 45%. (Neuroscience News)
In another study, mothers also reported being responsible for 79% of daily mental labor (like scheduling, childcare planning, cleaning tasks), more than twice what fathers reported (37%). Fathers, on average, reported to do mental tasks (finances, home repairs), but even here mothers reported doing the majority of this work too. (University of Bath)
Why This Matters During Sport Seasons (and Beyond)
Child sport seasons are a prime example of when mental load spikes: parents must track multiple practices and games, manage equipment, communicate with coaches, plan travel, coordinate rides with other families, and adjust competing schedules (work, school, other siblings). Because research shows mothers are already more likely to carry planning and scheduling tasks, sport seasons often amplify an existing imbalance.
When moms are doing most of the thinking and organizing, it can lead to:
- Higher stress and burnout
- Emotional fatigue
- Greater strain on time, career, and self‑care
- Unseen labor that isn’t accounted for or acknowledged
While fathers may contribute in different ways, mothers carry a disproportionate share of the mental labor that makes family logistics run smoothly. This imbalance is widely documented and contributes to stress, time pressure, and inequities in family life and work.
So, dad, maybe the next time you get invited to the group chat or the Sign Up Genius, just say “yup, got it!” and show up on time with the granola bars and Gatorade. A mom will thank you.